Heroes and Morons

When I see the depths that our society in this country have stooped to over the last few nights, it shames me to say I’m British.
I know in my heart that most normal citizens in this country will be as shocked and upset by the level of mindless violence and thievery that we have witnessed.
These morons have no regard for other people or their property, they laugh at the polices inability to act to stop them, and no doubt most of those arrested will be released without charge. WHY?
I will tell you. The government in this country have watered down all of our public sector services including the police to the point that when something like this happens they have neither the numbers or the equipment to be able to respond. Last year the home secretary Teresa May went on record to state that “We can cut police budget without risking violent unrest”. Um, bollocks Mrs May because it just happened in London and the only reaction I saw from the police was one of fear that they were outnumbered maybe 10 to 1, had insufficient equipment to deal with the level of violence being aimed at them and also they all seemed frightened to actually do anything to these wankers.
That I want to make clear is not a criticism of the men and women of our police force because I will back them up in the way they dealt with it all. This namby pamby, eco-mentalist, tree hugging government is so bloody afraid of what Brussels and the bunch of muppet’s running Europe might say if a person belonging to a “minority” group was given the fucking beating they have rightly earned the minute they smashed a window or lobbed a brick at a policeman. That they have made our policemen and women scared to death of actually fighting back and getting these bastards to conform to the laws of the country.
Once upon a time in this once “Great” Britain if you did wrong, you got a punishment to reflect the crime. You steal a mars bar, you got a bloody hard whack around the lug hole from the copper who caught you, then you got frog marched home to your parent for them to be informed of what you did and then you probably got a whack around the lug hole from your dad as well. If you committed murder, you got hung. If you were rioting you got tear gas lobbed at you and whilst you were gasping for breath and gagging a copper was able to walk in, in relative safety and batter the shit out of you before throwing you in a cell.
Now however, a policeman can’t lay a finger on a low life scroate without being sacked and put in prison him or herself.
The government are reconveining to address the ongoing issues……REALLY, your going to undo 30 years of fucking the country up are you??
Here’s a thought…..Stop paying these useless illiterate wankers to sit on their arses at home, drinking and taking drugs and make them work for their money. Put them to work in their communities and make them clean it, repair it, especially those that have been damaged. Make them help the binmen, make them sweep the streets and help the communities that they talk about when it suits them.
Why should we all be made to struggle and pay so much to the government to keep so many people that are just too bone idle to work for their money. Why should honest people with genuine reasons for not being able to work be made to struggle and prove that they are in need of help, people who have paid into the system and then need help as they cannot work because of sickness be made to go without because there isn’t enough money to go around. If these wasters on benefits because they do not want to work, were made to contribute something they may think twice about not working.
If these girls that think that life is all about shitting out as many kids as possible just to get a council house and live off the state were made to get a qualification in childcare and then look after other peoples children when they are at work to qualify for benefits, do you think they would still want to live that way?
Of course this just my opinion, probably not shared by many, but I feel victimised by the government because I have a job. I want the money I am taxed on to go to those who need help. People who although working cannot afford to privately rent or buy a house, I want it to go to those people who have worked and maybe have become too ill to carry on, so they do not worry that they will be homeless.
I worry for my kids. I worry that by the time they are old enough to not be the innocents that they are now and old enough that life is not seen from those eyes that see the world as one with fairies, santa, pirates that have hooks instead of hands that sail on old galleys, that the world they are living in is not one I would want them to suffer. This country is heading for some seriously tough times of civil unrest if the current and future governments do not stop the rot, and the only way I can see them doing this is to pull out or Europe and start governing this country the way that we, the voters want it governed. By our elected government for the people that have put them into government. By civil unrest I do not mean the rioting and violence of the stupid and moronic that we have witnessed in recent days, I’m talking about the everyday man who gets to breaking point and just cannot take anymore.
May our emergency services stay safe and out of harms way and for their efforts I sincerely hope that they all go home to their families tonight.

Life

It's been a couple of weeks since my last blog and I have had some odd feelings about life in that time.
Joy for a friend who recieved a life saving lung transplant,and delight at watching my youngest turn 4.
But I myself have been unable to drag my mind out of feelings of gloom, like a shadow is hanging over my head. I don't like my job that much, I want to move house but cannot until someone wants to buy ours. I feel stuck in a rut and cannot seem to be happy for some reason.
Why am I putting my feelings out there for you all to read?
DEPRESSION.....It can be in many forms and I have suffered many years ago after a car accident which changed my life perminantly. I did have physical injuries which I still suffer from today but I also worry about the depression I suffered during those times.
I got little in that way of sympathy or understanding and was made to feel like I was making it all up and that I should just "pull myself together". But real depression is not something the sufferer is aware of and it's not a sudden thing that comes on overnight. Neither is it a case of popping a pill on one day and your better the next.
I always, when I feel like I do at the moment worry that I might be slipping back into that dark place that I was in 10 years ago but then I remind myself that although feeling down and pissed off, I'm far too aware that I am that way, and that I have a beutiful wife and kids that for as long as they are in my life will mean that I could not possibly be depressed.
My reasons for this blog mainly is to say that mental illness, is exactly that, an illness as common as Flu and just like flu can affect anyone at anytime. Mental illness certainly doesn't affect only the mentally weak and anyone that thinks it could never happen to them should think again as I once thought that as well.

I mentioned a friend that is recovering from a lung transplant. She mentioned struggling with the thought that she had accepted that she was going to die, but woke up with someone elses lungs after they died and donated their lungs to her. Something we all thought she would just take in and get on with it. But this is something unless you go through it that none of us that haven't cannot begin to comprehend how we might feel. my point of brnging this up is this:-
We all saw this as a physical fight, and I along with i'm sure many others will admit, but the biggest fight to start with was a mental one, as difficult as the physical one her body was undertaking. I believe she has won the main part of that fight and is now concentrating on the physical but I want to make everyone aware that just because someone looks ok, and says they are ok, it doesn't mean they are.
If you have a friend or loved one that you think is not well mentally, be brave, be there and be strong enough to help them deal with it, because not all illness is visable and sometimes we all need someone to say to us I know your not alright but i'm here and lets deal with it together.
I myself will be fine, because I have my family and friends around me, not everyone is as blessed as me and I will drag my sorry arse out of the doldrums very soon, but I know that some people cannot do that alone. x

what a week already!

Well, where do I start?
I suppose the first thing would be to welcome Kirstie's new lungs to their new home where I know they will be loved and cherished in ways unimaginable to me and people like me who have not been through a transplant.
But what I can understand and also this time enjoy is the feelings created by someone who although i have only known for a short amount of time I come to admire very much.
I am 14 years Kirstie's senior but she has shown me a very different side to someone living and fighting against Cystic Fibrosis and i don't think it is possible for me to oralise or put into words the feelings that I have had following her on her journey and also some of the wounds that although reopened, have also been healed.
What i mean by that is I lost my cousin Katie to CF 13 years ago and when she died she was full of bitterness and negativity which I have always accepted as normal for someone who has lived with so much pain and hardship that CF brings a person.
Kirstie, her husband Stuart, Her Mum and her sister Kerry have allowed me to see that something like this doesn't always end in a family being torn apart ike mine, but can bring people family and friends closer.
I have like many others cried alot of tears in the last few weeks and I am honestly shocked by how badly I have been affected emotionally by being involved albeit on the very distant fringes.
I have even been inspired to start my own blog as Kirstie seemed to be able pour her heart out on hers better than maybe she would even to closest family in person, and this is exactly what I find.
With new lungs and a new start I have no doubt that Kirstie will be doing even more to help get the message and importance of organ donation out there. The difference being people like me are now enthused and inspired to do the same and I have already started the ball rolling on a few things.
I also have stopped putting things off that I have been like my singing and have started a duo with my friend Mark. You can always find excuses to not do something, what I have been taught by a person so damned determined and positive is that it is easy to put things off, but nothing worth having is easy and life is too damned precious to not live every day as it is your last. So as always my blog ends with a thought/statement....
Life is fragile and all too short, don't put something off saying I will do it, but not yet. Do it now, you can make time if you try, we all work, have families and commitments, but if you want to achieve something, then do it.
Someone lost their life the day Kirstie got her lungs and a family grieves. Did they know it was their last day, of course not. But they had thought that if I die today, I do not want my body to just be wasted, my death meaningless. They had maybe read Kirsties blog? They might have read something one of us have written about organ donation? They might have seen Kirstie or another person on the telly raising awareness? or just maybe they were someone like me that knows how precious organs are and donating them is, because they lost someone like me....... But whatever prompted them to donate, I want to thank them and I hope that they can loo down upon Kirstie and al the others that might have been saved that day and know that it was the greatest gift they could ever give. So next time you find yourself with friends or family, raise a glass to the unknown hero, The Organ Donor.

emotional time

I have realised that I seem to be very emotional at the moment and have realised why.
There are feelings that I thought I had dealt with many years ago which have resurfaced since I have had to deal with something similar.
I have thought that maybe I shouldn't put myself in a position that would lead me to be in a position where I would be reminded of my cousin Katie who died of Cystic Fibrosis 12 years ago, but that would mean severing ties with some remarkable young people who I have great admiration for.
I see in one of those people, something that was lacking in my own relationship with my cousin, and that being one of being allowed to care. There is a long and quite sad story behind this, and if I could just once meet the transplant coordinator that caused the issues within my family I would punch his lights out.
I never got to say goodbye properly to my cousin Katie, as I, and my immidiate family were not permitted to her funeral. So I dealt with the situation as best I could and thought I had dealt with these feelings. But it seems that although time heals, these feelings have just never really gone away and maybe they never will.
One of these young people is very ill at the moment, laying in a hospital bed waiting for a double lung transplant and it fills me with great sadness not only what she and her loved ones are going through but her friends that also suffer from CF must be going through. All of this has led to some old but familiar feelings resurfacing. Those of helplessness. For we are all in effect wishing that someone else dies to save our friend, obviously we do not wish anyone harm but that is what we are all wishing and praying for. This itself brings on feelings of guilt but none the less that is what we are waiting for, but that in itself has a all too short time limit. I shall stop blundering on and just finish with this thought for any of you still reading.
Live your life everyday like it's your last. Tell everyone that matters in your life how much they mean to you and never hold back on saying how you feel because you may not have the chance tomorrow. If you, or a loved one died today, would you want their pointless passing to have some kind of meaning, some way of comfort knowing that somewhere, someone will get a 2nd chance at life? Would you rather their body get cremated or buried, knowing that those parts are going to waste when they could have made a difference to so many lives. Not just those of the recipients but of the wives, husbands, children, parents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends of the recipients. I have lived through losing someone because they never got their transplant and it still effects me today. When someone is dead, they have no need for the physical body anymore. But so many good things can happen if they are gifted to someone else, and that is what it is, a gift. A gift of life.
So go now after reading this and Live life, but if it ends too soon please think about then giving life.
Live Life, Then Give Life.

letter to the big man

Dear God. I know I don't talk to you much, to tell you the truth I'm not even sure I believe. But right now I'm willing to take a punt on your existance and ask you for a favour. There is a lovely, bright, inspirational young lady fighting for the chance at getting new lungs in a hospital in harefield. If you decide to take someone this day, please make it someone that can donate some new lungs to her and not let their passing be in vein. I can assure you that if she gets her 2nd chance at life it would not be wasted. She has dedicated her spare time to spreading the word on Organ Donation and this work needs her to carry on.
I cannot express my feelings well enough in words to describe how much so many people want this to happen and if you are up there you should already know of this. Everyone asks for a lottery win and yes that is lovely and we would all like that, but right now some of us would settle for Kirstie to get new lungs, for life is ritcher for us all with people like her in it.
So if you are up there and you are listening please make this happen soon as time is far too precious.
Thanks.

Support for the Teachers

Today I have decided to show my support for all the public sector workers mainly the teachers who are striking.
The government are trying to save money once again at the expense of the workers who do the jobs that most wouldn’t want to do in a million years. The public have been led to believe that these people have some golden massive pension waiting for them when they retire. Wake up people, this is horseshit and you are swallowing the crap that this shitty government want you to believe.
It is starting with the teachers but this will go so much deeper. It will affect everyone working in the public sector, all those people that you rely on like Nurses. Most have been on a pay rise freeze, some negotiated a 3 year deal worth 10% which if this 3% rise in pension payments gets through then they will in fact be getting a pay cut in real terms. If this gets put through to the public sector it paves the way for the private sector to follow suit. This will then affect us all and those people not supporting the teachers etc will be the first to complain.
Money is tight for everyone and if these changes go ahead it will only get worse. The government are trying to make us pay for the failings and waste that the previous and current government have caused. Until they stop wasting government funds, stop handing tax payers money out to the lazy and bone idle, stop handing millions in taxpayers money to other countries before sorting out their own, the rot will continue.
I am all for this country helping those in foreign lands that are in need, but charity begins at home and until there is a change in the way some things are funded in this country I cannot condone the use of millions of public cash being given away.
We have institutions like the police force, ambulance trusts, RLNI, Air ambulances, Hospices, Fire Brigades, Hospitals crying out because of the lack of cash. Some of these vital services like the RNLI, Air ambulances and Hospices are not even funded by the government!
I know people that for years have paid into the governments coffers, have fallen terminally ill and cannot get a bloody bean from them to help them out financially!
Yet if the same person had got knocked up at 17, by now would have a cushy council house and have all things paid for by the government. Is this really fair or right, NO it isn’t but like many things in this country doesn’t ever seem to change.
If we do not get a government that has the balls to put these things right and actually listens to what the voters want instead of doing what they think we want then this country is doomed to fail and continue in the downward spiral it has begun.
So when a group of workers have the balls to stand up and be counted and say NO, we are not taking this shit anymore, don’t call them lazy, or money grabbers because that is not the case. They are standing up to the government that once again want to make the people that work for a living pay for their mistakes in governing this country that we were all once proud of.

What a busy few days!

It all started with the wedding of the lovely Kirstie and Stuart. I was official photographer for their special day and it was indeed very special.
I was in awe of the bride Kirstie who dispite being very poorly indeed with Cystic Fibrosis still managed to look stunning and managed to do everything that a bride wants to do on her wedding day, apart from the awkward shuffling around in a circle thing that you do in the evening but thats not much of a loss!
The whole day was superb and the venue was stunning. I was very happy with the results and I hope they were as well!
Friday night was a family birthday party, I got to see family that I haven't seen for 8 years and you just can't beat that.
Saturday evening was spent with some wonderful friends, and although sober it didn't matter as the company definatley made the night fun and special, and I got to see the cuteness personified that is baby Jessica!
Then on Saturday I had the 1st gig with my mate Mark as Dizzy Iguana. A bit under-rehearsed but we seemed to go down well and have been invited back for a 2nd gig so I guess we did something right.
Then fathers day which I spent with my beautiful wife and kids. I also got to see my Bro, Liza and little neice Jasmin, My parents including my Dad, and then a lovely roasty dinner with the inlaws and my nephew Owen.
Days like the last few make you appreciate what you have and forget what you don't have. I may not be the richest person in the world when it comes to money, but i'm a bloody millionaire when it comes to family and friends!
Always look to what you DO have and not what you DON'T have, because a lot of the time there is nothing you can do about what you don't have.