Well, where do I start?
I suppose the first thing would be to welcome Kirstie's new lungs to their new home where I know they will be loved and cherished in ways unimaginable to me and people like me who have not been through a transplant.
But what I can understand and also this time enjoy is the feelings created by someone who although i have only known for a short amount of time I come to admire very much.
I am 14 years Kirstie's senior but she has shown me a very different side to someone living and fighting against Cystic Fibrosis and i don't think it is possible for me to oralise or put into words the feelings that I have had following her on her journey and also some of the wounds that although reopened, have also been healed.
What i mean by that is I lost my cousin Katie to CF 13 years ago and when she died she was full of bitterness and negativity which I have always accepted as normal for someone who has lived with so much pain and hardship that CF brings a person.
Kirstie, her husband Stuart, Her Mum and her sister Kerry have allowed me to see that something like this doesn't always end in a family being torn apart ike mine, but can bring people family and friends closer.
I have like many others cried alot of tears in the last few weeks and I am honestly shocked by how badly I have been affected emotionally by being involved albeit on the very distant fringes.
I have even been inspired to start my own blog as Kirstie seemed to be able pour her heart out on hers better than maybe she would even to closest family in person, and this is exactly what I find.
With new lungs and a new start I have no doubt that Kirstie will be doing even more to help get the message and importance of organ donation out there. The difference being people like me are now enthused and inspired to do the same and I have already started the ball rolling on a few things.
I also have stopped putting things off that I have been like my singing and have started a duo with my friend Mark. You can always find excuses to not do something, what I have been taught by a person so damned determined and positive is that it is easy to put things off, but nothing worth having is easy and life is too damned precious to not live every day as it is your last. So as always my blog ends with a thought/statement....
Life is fragile and all too short, don't put something off saying I will do it, but not yet. Do it now, you can make time if you try, we all work, have families and commitments, but if you want to achieve something, then do it.
Someone lost their life the day Kirstie got her lungs and a family grieves. Did they know it was their last day, of course not. But they had thought that if I die today, I do not want my body to just be wasted, my death meaningless. They had maybe read Kirsties blog? They might have read something one of us have written about organ donation? They might have seen Kirstie or another person on the telly raising awareness? or just maybe they were someone like me that knows how precious organs are and donating them is, because they lost someone like me....... But whatever prompted them to donate, I want to thank them and I hope that they can loo down upon Kirstie and al the others that might have been saved that day and know that it was the greatest gift they could ever give. So next time you find yourself with friends or family, raise a glass to the unknown hero, The Organ Donor.
Tuesday 12 July 2011
Sunday 10 July 2011
emotional time
I have realised that I seem to be very emotional at the moment and have realised why.
There are feelings that I thought I had dealt with many years ago which have resurfaced since I have had to deal with something similar.
I have thought that maybe I shouldn't put myself in a position that would lead me to be in a position where I would be reminded of my cousin Katie who died of Cystic Fibrosis 12 years ago, but that would mean severing ties with some remarkable young people who I have great admiration for.
I see in one of those people, something that was lacking in my own relationship with my cousin, and that being one of being allowed to care. There is a long and quite sad story behind this, and if I could just once meet the transplant coordinator that caused the issues within my family I would punch his lights out.
I never got to say goodbye properly to my cousin Katie, as I, and my immidiate family were not permitted to her funeral. So I dealt with the situation as best I could and thought I had dealt with these feelings. But it seems that although time heals, these feelings have just never really gone away and maybe they never will.
One of these young people is very ill at the moment, laying in a hospital bed waiting for a double lung transplant and it fills me with great sadness not only what she and her loved ones are going through but her friends that also suffer from CF must be going through. All of this has led to some old but familiar feelings resurfacing. Those of helplessness. For we are all in effect wishing that someone else dies to save our friend, obviously we do not wish anyone harm but that is what we are all wishing and praying for. This itself brings on feelings of guilt but none the less that is what we are waiting for, but that in itself has a all too short time limit. I shall stop blundering on and just finish with this thought for any of you still reading.
Live your life everyday like it's your last. Tell everyone that matters in your life how much they mean to you and never hold back on saying how you feel because you may not have the chance tomorrow. If you, or a loved one died today, would you want their pointless passing to have some kind of meaning, some way of comfort knowing that somewhere, someone will get a 2nd chance at life? Would you rather their body get cremated or buried, knowing that those parts are going to waste when they could have made a difference to so many lives. Not just those of the recipients but of the wives, husbands, children, parents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends of the recipients. I have lived through losing someone because they never got their transplant and it still effects me today. When someone is dead, they have no need for the physical body anymore. But so many good things can happen if they are gifted to someone else, and that is what it is, a gift. A gift of life.
So go now after reading this and Live life, but if it ends too soon please think about then giving life.
Live Life, Then Give Life.
There are feelings that I thought I had dealt with many years ago which have resurfaced since I have had to deal with something similar.
I have thought that maybe I shouldn't put myself in a position that would lead me to be in a position where I would be reminded of my cousin Katie who died of Cystic Fibrosis 12 years ago, but that would mean severing ties with some remarkable young people who I have great admiration for.
I see in one of those people, something that was lacking in my own relationship with my cousin, and that being one of being allowed to care. There is a long and quite sad story behind this, and if I could just once meet the transplant coordinator that caused the issues within my family I would punch his lights out.
I never got to say goodbye properly to my cousin Katie, as I, and my immidiate family were not permitted to her funeral. So I dealt with the situation as best I could and thought I had dealt with these feelings. But it seems that although time heals, these feelings have just never really gone away and maybe they never will.
One of these young people is very ill at the moment, laying in a hospital bed waiting for a double lung transplant and it fills me with great sadness not only what she and her loved ones are going through but her friends that also suffer from CF must be going through. All of this has led to some old but familiar feelings resurfacing. Those of helplessness. For we are all in effect wishing that someone else dies to save our friend, obviously we do not wish anyone harm but that is what we are all wishing and praying for. This itself brings on feelings of guilt but none the less that is what we are waiting for, but that in itself has a all too short time limit. I shall stop blundering on and just finish with this thought for any of you still reading.
Live your life everyday like it's your last. Tell everyone that matters in your life how much they mean to you and never hold back on saying how you feel because you may not have the chance tomorrow. If you, or a loved one died today, would you want their pointless passing to have some kind of meaning, some way of comfort knowing that somewhere, someone will get a 2nd chance at life? Would you rather their body get cremated or buried, knowing that those parts are going to waste when they could have made a difference to so many lives. Not just those of the recipients but of the wives, husbands, children, parents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends of the recipients. I have lived through losing someone because they never got their transplant and it still effects me today. When someone is dead, they have no need for the physical body anymore. But so many good things can happen if they are gifted to someone else, and that is what it is, a gift. A gift of life.
So go now after reading this and Live life, but if it ends too soon please think about then giving life.
Live Life, Then Give Life.
Wednesday 6 July 2011
letter to the big man
Dear God. I know I don't talk to you much, to tell you the truth I'm not even sure I believe. But right now I'm willing to take a punt on your existance and ask you for a favour. There is a lovely, bright, inspirational young lady fighting for the chance at getting new lungs in a hospital in harefield. If you decide to take someone this day, please make it someone that can donate some new lungs to her and not let their passing be in vein. I can assure you that if she gets her 2nd chance at life it would not be wasted. She has dedicated her spare time to spreading the word on Organ Donation and this work needs her to carry on.
I cannot express my feelings well enough in words to describe how much so many people want this to happen and if you are up there you should already know of this. Everyone asks for a lottery win and yes that is lovely and we would all like that, but right now some of us would settle for Kirstie to get new lungs, for life is ritcher for us all with people like her in it.
So if you are up there and you are listening please make this happen soon as time is far too precious.
Thanks.
I cannot express my feelings well enough in words to describe how much so many people want this to happen and if you are up there you should already know of this. Everyone asks for a lottery win and yes that is lovely and we would all like that, but right now some of us would settle for Kirstie to get new lungs, for life is ritcher for us all with people like her in it.
So if you are up there and you are listening please make this happen soon as time is far too precious.
Thanks.
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